Messages from Heaven as I navigate through ACA Step 3

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guidance from the angels

your messages from heaven

shuffles: 5
cut: 15
question: Love, thy will be done.

Dear Lord,
We pray these angel cards
contain answers from You, Lord Yeshua,
to help this beloved friend.
Thank you for answering all
our prayers in your perfect way,
with your perfect timing.

Card# 33
Archangel Michael Oracle Cards


My Prayer: Thank you for sending healing energy to me and through me, for my own blessings and for all those around me. Thank you for connecting me to loving and high-integrity healers and teachers of energy-healing modalities.
This card signifies that your present situation would benefit from healing energy, which you can elicit from the angels (just ask them!), a qualified energy healer, or from your own intentions and energy.
Possible specific meanings: Take measures to boost your energy and vitality, such as exercising and eating healthfully … Enroll in an energy-healing course … Book a session with a qualified energy healer … Your life purpose involves energy-healing work

Card# 273




Card# 123


I am complete in Him Who is the Head of all principality and power (Colossians 2:10).




Working ACA Step 3…

ACA Card #89

Step 3 ==>>

Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understand God.


“Love, Thy Will Be Done”



Love… Thy will be done
I can no longer hide, I can no longer run
No longer can I resist Your guiding light
That gives me the power to keep up the fight

Oh Lord, Love… Thy will be done
Since I have found U, my life has just begun
And I see all of Your creations as one perfect complex
No one less beautiful or more special than the next
We are all blessed and so wise to accept
Thy will, Love, be done

Love… Thy will be mine
And make me strive for the glorious and divine
I could not be more, more satisfied (Satisfied)
Even when there’s no peace outside my window, there’s peace inside
And that why I no longer run (I no longer run)
Love… Thy will be done

Love… Thy will be done
I can no longer hide, I can no longer run
Oh Love… Thy will be done
Thy will, Love, be done

Oh, no longer can I resist (No)
The guiding light (Guiding light)
The light that gives me power to keep up the fight
I couldn’t be more satisfied (No)
Even when there’s no peace outside my window, there is peace inside
And that’s why I can no longer run
Love, thy will be done
Love, thy will be done
Love, thy will be done

Love… Thy will be done
I can no longer hide, I can no longer run
Oh Love… Thy will be done
Thy will, Love, be done

Oh Love… Thy will be done
I can no longer hide, I can no longer run
Oh Love… Thy will be done (Sing it)
Thy will, Love, be done (Glory, glory, glory)
Thy will, Love, be done (Glory)
Thy will, Love, be done

Need a flashcard to calm the mind? Visit

Angelic Words on May 11, 2018

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Answers from the Bible



Dear Lord,
We pray these Bible flashcards
contain answers from your Word,
the oracles of God,
to help this beloved friend.
Thank you for answering all
our prayers in your perfect way,
with your perfect timing.


Your question was: Dear Higher Power, today I realized my angel has been right here with me, showing up in my life when I need. I would love to feel this angel with me all day every day, but your will for my will and my life. Thank you for my angel who is helping me get back to my family. Thank you so much. I don\'t know how this is working, but I trust that my angel will be with me at my side making it all happen the way it should. Help me get off mmj. I want to be completely sober minded when I am back with my family. Thank you for helping me quit drinking alcohol. I sure appreciate this. Thank you for the gift of the 12 steps. I appreciate it so much. Your loving servant, Rachel Lee.
The cards were shuffled 5 time(s) and cut at card #: 11

Bible flashcard# 940

Morning Star
morning star pictures

Revelation 22 Amplified Bible (AMP)

The Perfect Life

22 Then the angel showed me a river of the water of life, clear as crystal, flowing from the throne of God and of the Lamb (Christ), 2 in the middle of its street. On either side of the river was the tree of life, bearing twelve kinds of fruit, yielding its fruit every month; and the leaves of the tree were for the healing of the nations. 3 There will no longer exist anything that is cursed [because sin and illness and death are gone]; and the throne of God and of the Lamb will be in it, and His bond-servants will serve and worship Him [with great awe and joy and loving devotion]; 4 they will [be privileged to] see His face, and His name will be on their foreheads. 5 And there will no longer be night; they have no need for lamplight or sunlight, because the Lord God will illumine them; and they will reign [as kings] forever and ever.

You Are Invited to be Blessed

6 Then he said to me, “These words are faithful and true.” And the Lord, the God of the spirits of the prophets, has sent His angel [as a representative] to show His bond-servants the things that must soon take place.

7 “And behold, I am coming quickly. [a]Blessed (happy, prosperous, to be admired) is the one who heeds and takes to heart and remembers the words of the prophecy [that is, the predictions, consolations, and warnings] contained in this book (scroll).”

8 I, John, am the one who heard and saw these things. And when I heard and saw them, I fell down to worship before the feet of the angel who showed me these things. 9 But he said to me, “Do not do that. I am a fellow servant with you and your brothers the prophets and with those who heed and remember [the truths contained in] the words of this book. Worship God.”

10 And he said to me, “Do not seal up the words of the prophecy of this book, for the time [of their fulfillment] is [b]near. 11 Let the one who does wrong, still do wrong; and the one who is filthy (vile, impure), still be filthy; and the one who is righteous (just, upright), still be righteous; and the one who is holy, still be holy.”

12 “Behold, I (Jesus) am coming quickly, and My reward is with Me, [c]to give to each one [d]according to the merit of his deeds (earthly works, faithfulness). 13 I am the Alpha and the Omega, the First and the Last, the Beginning and the End [the Eternal One].”

14 [e]Blessed (happy, prosperous, to be admired) are those who wash their robes [in the blood of Christ by believing and trusting in Him—the righteous who do His commandments], so that they may have the right to the tree of life, and may enter by the gates into the city. 15 Outside are the dogs [the godless, the impure, those of low moral character] and the sorcerers [with their intoxicating drugs, and magic arts], and the immoral persons [the perverted, the molesters, and the adulterers], and the murderers, and the idolaters, and everyone who loves and practices lying (deception, cheating).

The Final Invitation

16 “I, Jesus, have sent My angel to testify to you and to give you assurance of these things for the churches. I am the Root (the Source, the Life) and the Offspring of David, the radiant and bright Morning Star.”

17 The [Holy] Spirit and the bride (the church, believers) say, “Come.” And let the one who hears say, “Come.” And let the one who is thirsty come; let the one who wishes take and drink the water of life without cost.

18 I testify and warn everyone who hears the words of the prophecy of this book [its predictions, consolations, and admonitions]: if anyone adds [anything] to them, God will add to him the plagues (afflictions, calamities) which are written in this book; 19 and if anyone takes away from or distorts the words of the book of this prophecy, God will take away [from that one] his share from the tree of life and from the holy city (new Jerusalem), which are written in this book.

20 He who testifies and affirms these things says, “Yes, I am coming quickly.” Amen. Come, Lord Jesus.

21 The grace of the Lord Jesus (the Christ, the Messiah) be with all [the saints—all believers, those set apart for God]. Amen.


  1. Revelation 22:7 This is the sixth of the seven promised blessings. See note 1:3.
  2. Revelation 22:10 While Daniel was instructed to seal his prophecy, John was now told to reveal his (see Dan 12:4).
  3. Revelation 22:12 I.e. the final judgment for the believer will occur when he stands before Christ to have his fidelity and service judged, and the appropriate reward determined.
  4. Revelation 22:12 Lit as his work is.
  5. Revelation 22:14 This is the seventh and last of the promised blessings. See note 1:3.

Amplified Bible (AMP)

Bible Gateway

Bible flashcard# 896
Prayer ==>> Romans 15:30

Now I beg you, brethren, through the Lord Jesus Christ, and through the love of the Spirit, that you strive together with me in your prayers to God for me,

A Bible Verse

Bible flashcard# 1012

Proverbs 8 The Voice (VOICE)

8 Isn't Lady Wisdom calling? Listen; don't you hear the voice of understanding crying out? 2 She's taken her stand at the highest place in the city, at the crossroads where everyone can see her. 3 There, and at the gates, at the entrance to the city, right in front of the city doors she cries out:
4 Lady Wisdom: O people! I am calling to you; I have a message for all humanity. 5 You gullible people, acquire insight. You naive ones, cultivate a heart that truly understands. 6 Listen, for I am about to tell you of unparalleled excellence and beauty; what I am about to say will set things right. 7 I will only speak the truth; I despise evil, so it will not pass through my lips. Everything I say promotes justice; not one word is crooked, and nothing is distorted. 9 Each and every word is straight talk to perceptive people, upright and honest to knowledge-seekers. 10 Accept my correction as being more valuable than your prized possession, authentic knowledge more valuable than pure gold.
11 You see, no gem is more precious than Lady Wisdom- your most extravagant desire doesn't come close to her.
12 Lady Wisdom: I make my home with prudence; I obtain knowledge and sound judgment. 13 If you respect the Eternal, you will grow to despise evil. I despise wretched, vile talk and ways of pride and arrogance. 14 Good counsel is mine, and also true wisdom. I am understanding, and strength belongs to me. 15 It's because of me that kings wield power and authorities decree what is right. 16 It's because of me that leaders and their agents govern and all judge according to what is right. 17 I love those who love me; those who search hard for me will find me. 18 Riches and honor are the benefit of following me; so are lasting wealth and justice. 19 My reward is better than gold, even the purest gold; and my profit is greater than the highest quality silver. 20 I follow the way of right living. Follow me along the path to find justice; 21 I'm ready to meet those who love me, bestow true riches upon them, and fill up their lives until their treasuries overflow. 22 The Eternal created me; it happened when His work was beginning, one of His first acts long ago. 23 Before time He established me, before the earth saw its first sunrise. 24 I was born before the deep existed, before any springs poured out their water, 25 Before the mountains were placed on their foundations, before the hills rolled across the land- yes, before all this, I was brought forth. 26 When the earth was yet unformed and the fields were not yet nestled beneath the wind- even before the first dust of the earth- 27 When He created the heavens, I was there. When He drew a circle in the deep, dividing the oceans and the sky, I was there. 28 I was there when He established the sky. I was there when the springs in the deep were fortified; 29 I witnessed Him lay down the shore as a boundary and put limits on the water And determine the foundations of the earth. 30 All this time I was close beside Him, a master craftsman. Every day I was His delightful companion, celebrating every minute in His presence, 31 Elated by the world He was making and all its fine creatures; I was especially pleased with humanity.
32 So now listen to me, my children: those who live by my ways will find true happiness. 33 Pay attention to my guidance, dare to be wise, and don't disregard my teachings. 34 The one who listens to me, who carefully seeks me in everyday things and delays action until my way is apparent, that one will find true happiness. 35 For when he recognizes and follows me, he finds a peaceful and satisfying life and receives favor from the Eternal. 36 But heed my warning: the one who goes against me will only hurt himself, for all who despise me are playing with fire and courting death.
read on


please use this tool I created with the Lord to receive answers from the true Oracles of God, the Holy Bible
because I endure #extremedepression and #extremeloneliness I was searching for someone to talk to
this tool makes a way for me to talk to the Lord so I'm not so lonely and broken
God's word always brings upon the healing required for my situations
I trust His answers every time. I pray this tool helps you as well
if you have anything you'd like to talk or ask about, please feel free to email me: send mail
thank you so much for visiting and God bless you and your beloved ones forever

this page validates

I want to know what Love is, and I want You to show me ♫ ♥

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Answers from the Bible



Dear Lord,
We pray these Bible flashcards
contain answers from your Word,
the oracles of God,
to help this beloved friend.
Thank you for answering all
our prayers in your perfect way,
with your perfect timing.


Your question was: Dear God, I don\'t know what love is. I can\'t feel it. I can only give what I have received. So please, in your mercy, love me. Please love me. Please help me. Please. I want to know what love is and I want YOU to show me. Amen.
The cards were shuffled 5 time(s) and cut at card #: 3

Bible flashcard# 1226

Galatians 1:10 Tree of Life Version (TLV)

10 Am I now trying to win people’s approval, or God’s? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Messiah.

Tree of Life Version (TLV)

Galatians 1:10  Servant Of God Not Man (beige)

learn more


Bible flashcard# 1032
Psalm 34:18
auguri per i 18 pictures

Psalm 34:18 The Voice (VOICE)

18 When someone is hurting or brokenhearted, the Eternal moves in close
and revives him in his pain.


Bible flashcard# 789
Addictions Bible Help ==>> 1 John 3:8 King James Version (KJV)

He that committeth sin is of the devil; for the devil sinneth from the beginning. For this purpose the Son of God was manifested, that he might destroy the works of the devil.


please use this tool I created with the Lord to receive answers from the true Oracles of God, the Holy Bible
because I endure #extremedepression and #extremeloneliness I was searching for someone to talk to
this tool makes a way for me to talk to the Lord so I'm not so lonely and broken
God's word always brings upon the healing required for my situations
I trust His answers every time. I pray this tool helps you as well
if you have anything you'd like to talk or ask about, please feel free to email me: send mail
thank you so much for visiting and God bless you and your beloved ones forever

this page validates


Rape Trauma Syndrome

Coping with the trauma from a PTSD memory of gang rape

“Oh God!” I cried repeatedly. I screamed and screamed and screamed and screamed. I thought my heart would fail. I thought my throat would disintegrate.

This is what I woke up to Sunday morning. Like Creed sings, “♫I should have been dead on a Sunday morning…♫”

I mean, like I know I never should have touched the drink. I know that now. I didn’t have anyone to teach me this. I was raised in an abusive environment where all I learned was how to fuck, fight, and drink. I didn’t know. I am so grateful to be in 12 step recovery programs now. The drink is gone. Fornication is gone. I am free from these great sins.

But how do I heal from this pain? On Sunday I screamed and screamed and screamed and screamed. All the times in the past where I was being abused or raped all throughout this depressing life, I couldn’t scream. On Sunday I could. And I did.

But now what? How do we package these memories? What do we do with these awful horrendous memories?

I was 16 or 17. Sometime in the late 80’s. Probably 88 or 89. I don’t know for certain. It’s all hazy. I’m getting piece by piece. The taste of a Caesar drink always triggered an “I want to vomit” response in me. Caesars with vodka are what they served me. They bathed me in his mother’s tub. They took turns with me in his parent’s fancy home. The Daines Rodeo Ranch at Innisfail. The Daines family did this to me in my youth. They are rich and I am not. No one ever cared about me then or now. But I am learning to reparent myself. So now I care. I love me. I care about me. Justice is supposed to be done for my God loves justice, mercy, and those who walk humbly.

Micah 6:8 King James Version (KJV)

8 He hath shewed thee, O man, what is good; and what doth the Lord require of thee, but to do justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with thy God?

King James Version (KJV)

So I don’t yet know what to do with this memory. I have no idea. I hurt and I hurt bad. I am exercising on a rebounder to work this evil out of my lymph nodes. Purifying my beloved body because I love my body. I love me. I will do as my Lord commands and pray for these enemies. I will ask the Lord to bless them with abundant blessings. I am willing to receive forgiveness. I am willing to forgive. God, help me forgive.


Helpful links:

ACA Flashcards (Adult Child Recovery)

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The following post contains my current database of ACA (Adult Child) Recovery flashcards I am using in my personal recovery.

I am using PHP and MySQL for this website. I use phyMyAdmin for my database.

please take what you need and leave the rest…


God, grant me the serenity to accept the people i cannot change

the courage to change the one i can

and wisdom to know that one is me

ACA Card #1
Step 1 ==>>

We admitted we were powerless over the effects of alcoholism or other family dysfunction, that our lives had become unmanageable.


ACA Card #2
Step 2 ==>>

Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.


ACA Card #3
Step 3 ==>>

Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understand God.


ACA Card #4
Step 4 ==>>

Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.


ACA Card #5
Step 5 ==>>

Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.


ACA Card #6
Step 6 ==>>

Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.


ACA Card #7
Step 7 ==>>

Humbly asked God to remove our shortcomings.


ACA Card #8
Step 8 ==>>

Made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all.


ACA Card #9
Step 9 ==>>

Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.


ACA Card #10
Step 10 ==>>

Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.


ACA Card #11
Step 11 ==>>

Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God, as we understand God, praying only for knowledge of God’s will for us and the power to carry that out.


ACA Card #12
Step 12 ==>>

Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these Steps, we tried to carry this message to others who still suffer, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.


ACA Card #13

The “Laundry List”

14 Characteristics of an Adult Child

  1. We become isolated and afraid of people and authority figures.
  2. We became approval seekers and lost our identity in the process.
  3. We are frightened by angry people and any personal criticism.
  4. We either become alcoholics, marry them, or both, or find another compulsive personality such as a workaholic to fulfill our sick abandonment needs.
  5. We live life from the viewpoint of victims and are attracted by that weakness in our love and friendship relationships.
  6. We have an overdeveloped sense of responsibility and it is easier for us to be concerned with others rather than ourselves; this enables us not to look too closely at our own faults, etc.
  7. We get guilt feelings when we stand up for ourselves instead of giving in to others.
  8. We became addicted to excitement.
  9. We confuse love and pity and tend to “love” people we can “pity” and “rescue.”
  10. We have “stuffed” our feelings from our traumatic childhoods and have lost the ability to feel or express our feelings because it hurts so much (denial.)
  11. We judge ourselves harshly and have a very low sense of self-esteem.
  12. We are dependent personalities who are terrified of abandonment and will do anything to hold on to a relationship in order not to experience painful abandonment feelings which we received from living with sick people who were never there emotionally for us.
  13. Alcoholism is a family disease and we became para-alcoholics and took on the characteristics of that disease even though we did not pick up the drink.
  14. Para-alcoholics are reactors rather than actors.

~ Tony A., 1978 ~


ACA Card #14

The Solution

The solution is to become your own loving parent

As ACA becomes a safe place for you, you will find freedom to express all the hurts and fears you have kept inside and to free yourself from the shame and blame that are carryovers from the past. You will become an adult who is imprisoned no longer by childhood reactions. You will recover the child within you, learning to accept and love yourself.

The healing begins when we risk moving out of isolation. Feelings and buried memories will return. By gradually releasing the burden of unexpressed grief, we slowly move out of the past. We learn to re-parent ourselves with gentleness, humor, love and respect.

This process allows us to see our biological parents as the instruments of our existence. Our actual parent is a Higher Power whom some of us choose to call God. Although we had alcoholic or dysfunctional parents, our Higher Power gave us the Twelve Steps of Recovery.

This is the action and work that heals us: we use the Steps; we use the meetings; we use the telephone. We share our experience, strength, and hope with each other. We learn to restructure our sick thinking one day at a time. When we release our parents from responsibility for our actions today, we become free to make healthful decisions as actors, not reactors. We progress from hurting, to healing, to helping. We awaken to a sense of wholeness we never knew was possible.

By attending these meetings on a regular basis, you will come to see parental alcoholism or family dysfunction for what it is: a disease that infected you as a child and continues to affect you as an adult. You will learn to keep the focus on yourself in the here and now. You will take responsibility for your own life and supply your own parenting.

You will not do this alone. Look around you and you will see others who know how you feel. We will love and encourage you no matter what. We ask you to accept us just as we accept you.

This is a spiritual program based on action coming from love. We are sure that as the love grows inside you, you will see beautiful changes in all your relationships, especially with God, yourself, and your parents.

retrieved from on April 4, 2018


ACA Card #15

The Promises

  1. We will discover our real identities by loving and accepting ourselves.
  2. Our self-esteem will increase as we give ourselves approval on a daily basis.
  3. Fear of authority figures and the need to “people-please” will leave us.
  4. Our ability to share intimacy will grow inside us.
  5. As we face our abandonment issues, we will be attracted by strengths and become more tolerant of weaknesses.
  6. We will enjoy feeling stable, peaceful, and financially secure.
  7. We will learn how to play and have fun in our lives.
  8. We will choose to love people who can love and be responsible for themselves.
  9. Healthy boundaries and limits will become easier for us to set.
  10. Fears of failure and success will leave us, as we intuitively make healthier choices.
  11. With help from our ACA support group, we will slowly release our dysfunctional behaviors.
  12. Gradually, with our Higher Power’s help, we will learn to expect the best and get it.

retrieved from on April 4, 2018


ACA Card #16



ACA Card #17

The Problem

Many of us found that we had several characteristics in common as a result of being brought up in an alcoholic or dysfunctional household. We had come to feel isolated and uneasy with other people, especially authority figures. To protect ourselves, we became people-pleasers, even though we lost our own identities in the process. All the same we would mistake any personal criticism as a threat. We either became alcoholics (or practiced other addictive behavior) ourselves, or married them, or both. Failing that, we found other compulsive personalities, such as a workaholic, to fulfill our sick need for abandonment.

We lived life from the standpoint of victims. Having an overdeveloped sense of responsibility, we preferred to be concerned with others rather than ourselves. We got guilt feelings when we stood up for ourselves rather than giving in to others. Thus, we became reactors, rather than actors, letting others take the initiative. We were dependent personalities, terrified of abandonment, willing to do almost anything to hold on to a relationship in order not to be abandoned emotionally. Yet we kept choosing insecure relationships because they matched our childhood relationship with alcoholic or dysfunctional parents.

These symptoms of the family disease of alcoholism or other dysfunction made us “co-victims”, those who take on the characteristics of the disease without necessarily ever taking a drink. We learned to keep our feelings down as children and kept them buried as adults. As a result of this conditioning, we confused love with pity, tending to love those we could rescue. Even more self-defeating, we became addicted to excitement in all our affairs, preferring constant upset to workable relationships.

This is a description, not an indictment.

Adapted from The Laundry List

retrieved from on April 4, 2018


ACA Card #18

Step One ACA affirmation-meditation exercise

from Twelve Steps of Adult Children Steps Workbook page 42


  1. I am powerless over the effects of alcoholism and family dysfunction.
  2. I am powerless over the Laundry List traits.
  3. My life is unmanageable when I focus on others rather than myself.
  4. I did not cause my parents’ addictions or dysfunction.
  5. My feelings and thoughts are separate from the thoughts of my parents and my family.
  6. I can stop trying to heal or to change my family through my current relationships. I can stop trying to change others.
  7. I can stop condemning myself without mercy.
  8. I am a valuable person.

Sometimes affirmations work better for me if I say them with, “You are…” rather than “I am…”

Please try these if you feel guided:

  1. You are powerless over the effects of alcoholism and family dysfunction.
  2. You are powerless over the Laundry List traits.
  3. Your life is unmanageable when you focus on others rather than yourself.
  4. You did not cause your parents’ addictions or dysfunction.
  5. Your feelings and thoughts are separate from the thoughts of your parents and your family.
  6. You can stop trying to heal or to change your family through your current relationships. You can stop trying to change others.
  7. You can stop condemning yourself without mercy.
  8. You are a valuable person.


ACA Card #19

God, empty me of me and fill me with Thee.


ACA Card #20

ACA Card #21
Loving Yourself ==>>


I love you, [insert your name here].

I love you, little [insert your name here].

~~~~~while wrapping your arms around yourself and giving your beloved self a hug~~~~~

~~~~~repeat 5 times~~~~~

for example,

I love you Rachel, I love you little Rachel.


ACA Card #22

Came to Believe… ACA Statements for the Fellowship Text

1.We believe … this book (ACA Big Book) represents the most complete description of the ACA experience from our fellowship view. (pg. ix)

2.We believe … this discussion (on the greater meaning of ACA Recovery) will lead to new levels of clarity for Adult Children. (pg. ix)

3.We believe … that ACA has the potential to help the suffering Adult Children of the world on the magnitude that Alcoholics Anonymous brought relief to hopeless alcoholics in the 20th century. (xiii)

4.We believe … that once a recovering Adult Child meets and shares his or her story with another Adult Child seeking help, that adult cannot view co-dependence the same again. (pg. xiv)

5.In addition to focusing on ourselves through the Twelve Steps, we believe … that the family system is open for inspection as well. (pg. xv)

6. We believe … that each of us is born with a True Self that is forced into hiding by dysfunctional parenting. (pg. xv)

7.I believe … it is through the Twelve steps program of ACA that we no longer live life from a basis of fear. We live with self-care and love. (pg. xx iv)

8.In ACA we believe … the experiences of growing up in a dysfunctional family affect us as adults. (pg. 3)

9.Adult children from all family types not only feel shame deeply, but we believe … we are shame. (pg. 10)

10.We believe … that we will be safe and never abandoned if we are nice and if we never show anger. (pg. 11)

11.We believe … that the long-term effects of fear transferred to us by a non-alcoholic parent can match the damaging effects of alcohol. (pg. 23)

12.We believe … that hitting, threats, projection, belittlement, and indifference are the delivery mechanisms that deeply insert the disease of family dysfunction within us. (pg. 27)

13.We believe … that something is wrong with us even though we cannot voice what the thing is. (pg. 30)

14.We … either believe … that the way we were raised has a direct link to our compulsions and co-dependence as adults, or we do not believe it. (pg. 33)

15.Yet, if we believe … there is a connection, we can choose ACA and pick up the tools of recovery. (pg. 33)

16.We believe … the solution of inclusion rose from the spiritual depths of ACA meetings and group consciences. (pg. 63)

17.We believe … that the disease of family dysfunction is a spiritual dilemma rather than a moral deficiency to be solved by proper living. (pg. 75)

18.We don’t believe … we have a mental health problem to be cured purely by science. (pg. 75)

19.Many of us believe … that our actual parent is a Higher Power, who is patient and loving. (pg. 75)

20.Most of us no longer believe … that God is punishing, abandoning, or indifferent. (pg, 75)

21.We believe … that family dysfunction is a spiritual disease that best responds to surrender, self-acceptance, and consistent effort by the adult child to make conscious contact with a Higher Power. (pg. 76)

22.We don’t believe … that family dysfunction is a moral deficiency of the parents or that changing our behavior is merely a matter of self-will. (pg. 76)

23.Adult Children of Alcoholics believe … that recovery from the effects of growing up in a dysfunctional home requires spiritual intervention; however we do not propose to be the authority on what works best for each individual. (pg. 78)

24.We are God’s children despite mistakes made. Through such affirmations and Twelve Step work, we come to believe … in our self-worth. (pg. 93)

25.We wrongly believed … we solved the problems from our birth family by keeping our own homes in order. We may have even eliminated alcohol or other dysfunction from our home. Our children, who often act out in addiction or aggression, give us a clue to our failing. We unintentionally passed on our family insanity or distorted thinking. (pg. 134)

26.We came to believe that this behavior was normal when it was insane by the standards of decency or true parental love. (pg. 135)

27.We are not aligned with any religious, mystical, or spiritual systems of belief; however, we believe it is imperative that the recovering adult child find a Higher Power to help him or her find healing from growing up in a dysfunctional home. (pg. 141)

28.We do not believe our brains are missing any elements. We start with the premise that we are whole and that we had a normal reaction to an abnormal situation of being raised in a dysfunctional home. (pg. 143)

29.In ACA, we believe we were born whole and became fragmented in body, mind, and spirit through abandonment and shame. We need help finding a way to return to our miracle state. (pg. 143)

30.We believe in a spiritual solution for the disease of family dysfunction. (pg. 143)

31.In addition to a deep sense of shame and abandonment, we believe that most of our emotional and mental distress can be traced to our steadfast nature to control. In ACA, we realize that control was the survival trait which kept us safe or alive in our dysfunctional homes. (pg. 143)

32.We believe our best hope is seeking a spiritual solution in concert with other recovering adult children. (pg. 148)

33.We are an autonomous program founded on the belief … that family dysfunction is a disease that affected us as children and affects us as adults. (pg. 333)

34.We believe … that the fear and confused thinking of the co-dependent is one of the mechanisms that pass on alcoholism and other family dysfunction even when alcohol is removed from the home. (pg. 335)

35.ACA believes … there is a direct link between our childhood and our decisions and thoughts as an adult. (pg. 338)

36.As discussed in Chapter Two, we believe … that some of our stored feelings become a drug, driving us from the inside to harm ourselves or others. This is the para-alcoholic nature of co-dependence. (pg. 457)

37.With this knowledge of the body, we believe … that fear and other emotions can act as a drug. (pg. 458)

38.We believe … when the time is right, that teen leadership will form meetings for abused and neglected young people wanting what ACA has to offer. (pg. 475)

39.In ACA, we believe … connecting with our feelings and Inner Child are just as important as working the Twelve Steps and Sponsorship. (pg. 558)

Our feelings of self-worth and adequacy start to grow as we successfully reparent ourselves, and we begin to trust our ability to love and serve others. We give service just by being present to support and encourage other members of the program as they make the transition from frightened adult children to whole human beings who are capable of acting with the spontaneity of a child and the wisdom of a mature adult. This central concept underlies and supports all forms of service. (pg. 354)

A healthy relationship involves talking about feelings, mutual respect, and a commitment to trust and honesty. There are many other elements to a successful and intimate relationship, but these are a good start. Not surprisingly, these are the tools and principles included in the ACA program: feelings, respect, trust, and honesty. (pg. 403)

In ACA, we are more alike than different. The common denominator among all adult children involves the sense that we have failed at fixing our families or that we helped cause our family problems. Believing we could have controlled outcomes or restored our family is a common error in thinking among adult children from all dysfunctional family types. Our common solution is a spiritual awakening brought by seeking a God of our Understanding through the Twelve Steps. We must also reparent ourselves and help others to continue our spiritual growth. These are the foundational truths of our fellowship put in place from the beginning. These experiences have sustained us and carried us … as Adult Children of Alcoholics. (pg. 646)

I believe that learning to make relationships work is at the core of full recovery. Doing so takes skill and skills are learned. (pg. 15, Stage II Recovery Life Beyond Addiction, Earnie Larsen)

retrieved from April 14, 2018


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New Thought Patterns From the Big Red Book

Listen to your Inner Child not with fear but with openness.

Love this child for all she or he has had to defend against.

Know that feelings are to be listened to; they are cues and signals that indicate where you are and what you need.

Mistakes are a sign of growing; remember, be gentle with yourself.

Success is not relative to others. It is a feeling of love and accomplishment for yourself.

Recovery is accepting yourself for who you are, no longer waiting for others to define you or approve of you.

It is safe to take time to play today. Play fuels your creativity, tickles your Inner Child, and nurtures your soul.

May you respond with the vulnerability of your child, but with the strength of your adult.

Surround yourself with people who respect and treat you well.

In faith one finds the strength to survive times of great fear and sadness.

see page xxiv-xxv Big Red Book


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an image from


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May I be of service??? ==>>


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Personal Power ==>>


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Integration ==>>


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Grandparents in ACA ==>>


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Defects of Character ==>>


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Emotional Sobriety ==>>


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Read this… ==>>


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Acting Purposefully ==>>


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Reverse Side of the Laundry List ==>>


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Promise Four ==>> 


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Are You An Adult Child? ==>>

Are you an adult child?
  1.  Do you recall anyone drinking or taking drugs or being involved in some other behavior that you now believe could be dysfunctional?
  2.  Did you avoid bringing friends to your home because of drinking or some other dysfunctional behavior in the home?
  3.  Did one of your parents make excuses for the other parent’s drinking or other behaviors?
  4.  Did your parents focus on each other so much that they seemed to ignore you?
  5.  Did your parents or relatives argue constantly?
  6.  Were you drawn into arguments or disagreements and asked to choose sides with one relative against another?
  7.  Did you try to protect your brothers or sisters against drinking or other behavior in the family?
  8.  As an adult, do you feel immature? Do you feel like you are a child inside?
  9.  As an adult, do you believe you are treated like a child when you interact with your parents? Are you continuing to live out a childhood role with the parents?
 10.  Do you believe that it is your responsibility to take care of your parents’ feelings or worries? Do other relatives look to you to solve their problems?
 11.  Do you fear authority figures and angry people?
 12.  Do you constantly seek approval or praise but have difficulty accepting a compliment when one comes your way?
 13.  Do you see most forms of criticism as a personal attack?
 14.  Do you over-commit yourself and then feel angry when others do not appreciate what you do?
 15.  Do you think you are responsible for the way another person feels or behaves?
 16.  Do you have difficulty identifying feelings?
 17.  Do you focus outside yourself for love or security?
 18.  Do you involve yourself in the problems of others? Do you feel more alive when there is a crisis?
 19.  Do you equate sex with intimacy?
 20.  Do you confuse love and pity?
 21.  Have you found yourself in a relationship with a compulsive or dangerous person and wonder how you got there?
 22.  Do you judge yourself without mercy and guess at what is normal?
 23.  Do you behave one way in public and another way at home?
 24.  Do you think your parents had a problem with drinking or taking drugs?
 25.  Do you think you were affected by the drinking or other dysfunctional behavior of your parents or family?

(Questions from the ACA Fellowship Text, pp. 18-20)
If you answered “yes” to three or more of these questions, you  may  be  suffering  from  the  effects  of  growing  up  in  an  alcoholic  or  other  dysfunctional family. We welcome you to attend an ACA meeting in your area to learn more.

Adult Children of Alcoholics is an anonymous Twelve Step  and  Twelve  Tradition  fellowship. Our  meetings offer a safe environment for adult children to share their common experiences. By attending meetings regularly and by sharing about our lives, we gradually change our thinking and behavior. By working the ACA program, we find another way to live.

You  can  find  a  worldwide  list  of  ACA  meetings,  including telephone and online meetings at:


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The Flip Side of The Laundry List ==>>

The Flip Side of The Laundry List
1) We move out of isolation and are not unrealistically afraid of other people, even authority
2) We do not depend on others to tell us who we are.
3) We  are  not  automatically  frightened  by  angry  people  and  no  longer  regard  personal  
criticism as a threat.
4) We do not have a compulsive need to recreate abandonment.
5) We stop living life from the standpoint of victims and are not attracted by this trait in our
important relationships.
6) We do not use enabling as a way to avoid looking at our own shortcomings.
7) We do not feel guilty when we stand up for ourselves.
8) We  avoid  emotional  intoxication  and  choose  workable  relationships  instead  of  constant  
9) We are able to distinguish love from pity, and do not think “rescuing” people we “pity” is
an act of love.
10) We come out of denial about our traumatic childhoods and regain the ability to feel and
express our emotions.
11) We stop judging and condemning ourselves and discover a sense of self-worth.
12) We  grow  in  independence  and  are  no  longer  terrified  of  abandonment.  We  have interdependent relationships with healthy people, not dependent relationships with people who are emotionally unavailable.
13) The characteristics of alcoholism and para-alcoholism we have internalized are identified, acknowledged, and removed.
14) We are actors, not reactors.


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The Flip Side of The Other Laundry List ==>>

The Flip Side of The Other Laundry List
1) We face and resolve our fear of people and our dread of isolation and stop intimidating others with our power and position.
2) We realize the sanctuary we have built to protect the frightened and injured child within has become a prison and we become willing to risk moving out of isolation.
3) With our renewed sense of self-worth and self-esteem we realize it is no longer necessary to protect ourselves by intimidating others with contempt, ridicule and anger.
4) We accept and comfort the isolated and hurt inner child we have abandoned and disavowed and thereby end the need to act out our fears of enmeshment and abandonment with other people.
5) Because we are whole and complete we no longer try to control others through manipulation and force and bind them to us with fear in order to avoid feeling isolated and alone.
6) Through our in-depth inventory we discover our true identity as capable, worthwhile people. By asking to have our shortcomings removed we are freed from the burden of inferiority and grandiosity.
7) We support and encourage others in their efforts to be assertive.
8) We uncover, acknowledge and express our childhood fears and withdraw from emotional intoxication.
9) We have compassion for anyone who is trapped in the “drama triangle” and is desperately searching for a way out of insanity.
10) We accept we were traumatized in childhood and lost the ability to feel. Using the 12 Steps as a program of recovery we regain the ability to feel and remember and become whole human beings who are happy, joyous and free.
11) In accepting we were powerless as children to “save” our family we are able to release our self-hate and to stop punishing ourselves and others for not being enough.
12) By accepting and reuniting with the inner child we are no longer threatened by intimacy, by the fear of being engulfed or made invisible.
13) By acknowledging the reality of family dysfunction we no longer have to act as if nothing were wrong or keep denying that we are still unconsciously reacting to childhood harm and injury.
14) We stop denying and do something about our post-traumatic dependency on substances, people, places and things to distort and avoid reality.



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Step 1 Spiritual Principles ==>> Powerless and Surrender

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Step 2 Spirtual Principles ==>> Openmindedness and Clarity

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Step 3 Spirtual Principles ==>> Willingness and Accepting Help

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Step 4 Spiritual Principles ==>> Self-Honesty and Courage

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Step 5 Spiritual Principles ==>> Honesty and Trust

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Step 6 Spiritual Principles ==>> Willingness

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Step 7 Spiritual Principles ==>> Humility

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Step 8 Spiritual Principles ==>> Willingness and Self-Forgiveness

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Step 9 Spiritual Principles ==>> Forgiveness and Courage

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Step 10 Spiritual Principles ==>> Honesty and Discernment

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Step 11 Spiritual Principles ==>> Seeking and Listening

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Step 12 Spiritual Principles ==>> Love and Self-Love

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Third Step Prayer ==>> God. I am willing to surrender my fears and to place my will and my life in your care one day at a time. Grant me the wisdom to know the difference between the things I can and cannot change. Help me to remember that I can ask for help. I am not alone. Amen.

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Promise 11

“With help from our ACA support group, we will slowly release our dysfunctional behaviors.”

Fourth Step Prayer:

Divine Creator. Help me to be rigorously honest and to care for myself during this Fourth Step process. Let me practice gentleness and not abandon myself on this spiritual journey. Help me remember that I have attributes, and that I can ask for forgiveness. I am not alone. I can ask for help. Amen.


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Step 4 Affirmation ==>> The promises of ACA are for me, and they are being fulfilled in my life. I am discovering my real identity. I am facing shame and uncomfortable feelings without running or acting-out. I have positive attribute that I am discovering. God,as I understand God, hears my prayers. I can ask for help.

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Fifth Step Prayer ==>> Divine Creator: Thank you for this chance to speak honestly with another person about the events of my life. Help me accept responsibility for my actions. Let me show compassion for myself and my family as I revisit my thinking and actions that have blocked me from your love. Restore my child within. Restore my feelings. Restore my trust in myself. Amen.

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Step 6 Defects of Character & Laundry List Survival Traits ==>>


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Seventh Step Prayer – Character Defects

God, I am now ready that you should remove from all my defects of character, which block me from accepting your divine love and living with true humility toward others. Renew my strength so that I might help myself and others along this path of recovery.

I humbly ask you to remove my defect of hatred,

I humbly ask you to remove my defect of rage,

I humbly ask you to remove my defect of evil,

I humbly ask you to remove my defect of pride,



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Seventh Step Prayer – Laundry List Traits

God, I am now ready that you should integrate my survival traits which block me from accepting your divine love. Grant me wholeness.

I humbly ask you to integrate my trait of addictive living,

I humbly ask you to integrate my trait of people-pleasing,

I humbly ask you to integrate my trait of needing everyone to be in love with me,

I humbly ask you to integrate my trait of compulsiveness,

I humbly ask you to integrate my trait of victimhood,



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Chapter 7 Meditation ==>>

We know that we can have healthy love in our lives. You can have healthy love in your life.

Say, “I can have healthy love in my life.”

page 233 of the Big Red Book


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Making Amends

During an amends, we might say: “I am involved in a program in which I am learning to change my behavior and to live more honestly and openly. Part of the process involves making amends to people I have harmed with my behavior. I am making amends to you for _______________________ (name the behavior, action, or other). I want to make it right. I am not making excuses, but I have harmed people based on my lack of knowledge about living. I am changing my behavior.”

from page 242 of the Big Red Book


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Step Seven Affirmations

I am strong

I am humorous

I am sensitive

I am wiling

I am intelligent

I am compassionate

I am courteous

I am talented

I am honest

I am organized

I am spontaneous

I am creative

I am loving

I am a listener

I am spiritual

I am trustworthy

I am tenacious

I am judicious

I am accepting

I am modest

I am prompt

I am kind

I am hard working

I am a friend

I am an ACA member

from page 263 of the Big Red Book


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Step 11 Prayer ==>> God, may I be whole and my miracle restored. Amen.

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Step 11 Prayer ==>>


When I look let me truly see.

When I listen let me truly hear.”

see page 274 of the Big Red Book


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Step 11 Meditation Exercise ==>>

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Affirmations for Healthy, Loving Relationships ==>>

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Messages from my Higher Power ==>>

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Bust Development for those of the female gender abused as children ==>>

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Confidence in Company ==>>

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Ego Strengthener ==>>

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Chapter Eight Review of Key Terms

  1. Inner Child – The original person, being, or force which we truly are. Some ACA members call this the True Self.
  2. False Self – The addicted or codependent self.
  3. Loving Parent or Reparenting – The inner parent we can develop from the part of us that took action to care for ourselves as children and which can be awakened in recovery.
  4. Critical Parent – The hypercritical and judgmental voice that frequently finds fault in our thoughts and actions. This includes the frequent blaming of ourselves and others.

see page 298 of the Big Red Book


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Chapter Eight Affirmations

My feelings are okay

I am human

I make mistakes, but I am not a mistake

I don’t have to be perfect

It is okay to know who I am


see page 298 of the Big Red Book


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You! Yes, you! Quick go look in a mirror, and say:

“You are loving. You are lovable.”

see page 321 of the Big Red Book


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Chapter Eight Exercises

Loving Parent Questions

  1. What is a Loving Parent? What is an Inner Child?
  2. If you can envision a Critical Parent inside, is it possible to envision a Loving Parent, who is there as well waiting to step forward? Are you willing to explore this possibility?
  3. Can you see how you took care of yourself as a child and how you can now use that care to nurture a Loving Parent within?
  4. If you were self-destructive as a child, how would a Loving Parent care for an abused or neglected child? Would you be willing to do these caring things for your Inner Child?
  5. Name a way you can meet your Loving Parent.
  6. What are five traits of a Loving Parent?

see page 327 of the Big Red Book


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Chapter Eight Exercises

Inner Child Affirmations

  1. I love my Inner Child unconditionally.
  2. I will protect my Inner Child to the best of my ability.
  3. I will take time to listen to my Inner Child and to follow through on promises.
  4. I will integrate my Inner Child into my life through play, creativity, and spirituality.
  5. I will take time to become my own Loving Parent.

see page 328 of the Big Red Book


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Chapter Eight Exercises

Inner Child Questions

  1. How does your Loving Parent communicate regularly with your Inner Child?
  2. How might you establish trust with your Inner Child?
  3. How do you let your Inner Child play regularly?
  4. How do you integrate your Inner Child into your feelings and decisions?
  5. How do you affirm your Inner Child or Inner Children?
  6. How does your Inner Child help you connect you with a Higher Power?
  7. Do you love your Inner Child unconditionally?
  8. How has your Inner Child sabotaged you from gettings things done?

see page 328 of the Big Red Book


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Affirmations for your Inner Child from Chapter 8 ==>>

Higher Power. Help me to be willing to recognize the Loving Parent inside of me. Help me integrate my Inner Child more actively into my daily life so that I remain awake spiritually. Grant me the courage to change the things I can. Grant me the wisdom of my Inner Child.

see page 329-330 of the Big Red Book


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Affirmations for Relationships ==>>


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Mirrorwork for Little Rachel ==>>


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Assertiveness Affirmations ==>>


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ACA Affirmations ==>>

1) I am learning it is ok to be different from other people & that being normal is no longer important to me!

2) I am gaining the courage to confront my problems.

3) I am learning to follow through & complete projects, set attainable goals organize & pace myself.

4) I am learning that I have options that will allow me to make decisions.

5) I am learning to be truthful with myself & authentic with others that telling the truth won’t hurt me to say, *I made a mistake* & that mistakes mean growth.

6) I am learning not to dwell on negatives or transfer my negatives to others.

7) I am learning to live & let live.

8) I am learning to have more confidence & believe in myself as well as accepting myself as I am not as an under or over achiever.

9) I am learning to appreciate the little things in life & to enjoy life as it is, whatever the circumstances. I can have fun by assuming the responsibility for my fun.

10) I am learning to let go & turn things over to my Higher Power.

11) I am learning not to take myself so seriously.

12) I am learning to be more open & adaptable & not push people away to be more trusting in intimate relationships to avoid destructive relationships & to walk away from existing relationships that are unhealthy.

13) I am learning to live for myself & not for the approval of others.

14) I am learning not to control or save others.

15) I am learning when to be loyal when not to be loyal & most of all to be loyal to myself.

16) I am learning to understand myself by listening to my inner feelings & avoiding compulsive behavior that seeks immediate gratification.

17) I am learning to stand up for myself by listening to my inner feelings & avoiding compulsive behavior that seeks immediate gratification.

18) I am significant to God.

19) I am learning that everything I need I have at this very moment.

20) I am the best I can be right now.



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Trait 5 ==>>



If you have any questions or concerns, please feel free to email me: send mail
Thank you for visiting. Higher Power blessings.


ACA Recovery Resources



Psalm 32:8

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Bible flashcard# 1042
***You'll understand and it will show you the way in which you must walk, it set my eyes on you / Psalm 32: 8.***
show me the way pictures

Psalm 32:8 The Voice (VOICE)

8 I will teach you and tell you the way to go and how to get there;
I will give you good counsel, and I will watch over you.

Lord, thank You for Your Word that brings me comfort, protection, and all I could ever need.
"Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path."
Psalm 119:105
In Jesus' Name, Amen
If you have any questions or concerns, please feel free to email me: send mail
Thank you for visiting and God bless

angelicwords' intention for these flashcards is to bring glory to Jesus and point a way to Him
these flashcards may be used for renewing the mind – Romans 12:2
God's Holy angels obey the voice of His Word – Psalm 103:20
these cards were not created for fortune-telling or divination of any kind
if in emotional distress, these cards calm and distract me with guidance for the present moment

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